Switching over from "independent" living to "assisted" living, I knew I was going to be exposed to death more often, but today is the first time it happened since I started the new job.
I had yesterday and today off, but I went in today in the afternoon for a work meeting. Two people had died since my last work day and another had a major cardiac event and was in the hospital.
The woman who died, I think I am at peace with. She was in her upper nineties, her health had been failing for a while, she knew it was coming soon. Some of the caregivers at my table during the meeting were talking about the process, how the tissue in her extremities had started turning blue and dying, and how she was scared to be by herself. I had a hard time listening to that, but I guess it is stuff I need to know. The signs I need to be aware of.
The man who died, he was the one who really got to me. A tall, lanky guy, fairly independent still, who all of a sudden went downhill about a week ago. I saw him every day, multiple times per day, but he was never asking for anything for himself, always just looking after his wife. "My sweetheart needs her anxiety meds." "My lady is in pain." He was very selfless. It is sad to see his wife left behind so sad and alone. Her family is with her now but they won't be forever.
The man who is in the hospital with heart problems, my coworker thinks will be back again. I was surprised to hear he'd had an emergency. He's pretty feisty.
I got a little teary eyed finding all this out right off the bat. I got some ice water and had some time to sit outside by myself before the meeting started.
I've never really believed that people "go to a better place" when they die. I think some of the comfort that comes with that thought would be nice right now.
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