So, I'm a nurse now...

I got busy and let this blog fall by the wayside during nursing school. I think that might be a fairly common pattern for those trying to blog their ways through school!

I graduated from my associates of nursing program in May of 2014, had my license by July, and started my first nursing job on a mixed med-surg/tele floor in August 2014. I worked there for a year and a half (first half nights, second half days), and then requested a facility transfer to a hospital closer to where I live. I now work night shift on a step down unit---have only been there 3 months. I like my crew. I'm hoping to switch back to days eventually, although the pace of nights is pleasant.

At one point I applied for a labor and delivery position at the same hospital. I was pretty excited about it, thinking it would be a key in for eventual move toward NICU. My interviewers realized that too, because I'd been talking to a bunch of people, and they decided to go with someone whose dream was actually L&D. Fair enough. I'm now glad I didn't go that direction. I still think I'd like to work in the NICU at some point, but maybe as part of the float pool at first (get my NRP and STABLE certifications).

I have been working on an online program for my BSN. Two semesters down, and I have one more class to complete before the degree will be done. I've already switched over to the bridge program for a masters of education in nursing. I think I want to teach nursing at the local community college down the road. It will probably take several years to get there, although I could have my M.S. within the next year and a half if I keep up at my current pace.

There were definitely some struggles in my first year of nursing. I'm not going to dwell on them now. Mostly not in the actual care of patients! I may get into them later.

For now, I'm happy to have a stable job near home with coworkers I like and a three-12's schedule that allows for a fair amount of time off.

Accepted a new job. RELIEF.

Two days ago I accepted a new job (within the same company) and put in my 2 weeks notice at my current position. My current supervisor at the receptionist job asked if I would be willing to fill in sometimes if needed and I said I'd be glad to.

My new gig will be full time, 40 hours per week, with benefits. I will be spending part of that time as a personal care assistant, and part of it as a medication technician. They are starting me at $11 per hour. I will have benefits after 90 days. Huge. Sigh. Of Relief. If I have to cut down to half time during nursing school (likely) I should be able to at least get back on a COBRA continuation again. Another plus? They provide the uniforms. One less ongoing expense to worry about.

I had two interviews for the job. The first one felt like a hole in one. Totally rocked it. Had no doubt I was going to get an offer. The second was a little rockier but I felt like the decision had already been made on their part by that point. I also talked to the other place I was considering, the paid CNA training program, that day, and there was promise there, but I decided to go with the med tech job for two main reasons:

(1) the paid CNA training gig would have only been $8.70 an hour (vs $11)
(2) if I decide it would be useful to have my CNA license after all, I will be able to apply for that after my first semester of nursing school, which, assuming I get in, is only 11 months away.
(3) I like that I will be spending at least part of my time as a medication technician, which requires some state-mandated training (another thing to add to the ol' resume).

During the interview, the manager said that if I ended up getting into nursing school they would be able to work with me on hours as well. I don't know what kind of course schedule I will have during the first semester of nursing school. I know it won't be a good idea to work full time, even if I am tempted to. Have to wait and see.

I am just a little bit concerned about my pre-employment physical, which is happening next Friday afternoon. I already had one for the receptionist position but because I will be on my feet more and stuff they are having me do another one. I also need to get my TB records together again, and all that jazz. It may be about time to renew my first aid training again as well. They will pay for all that if necessary.

I know that this job will be more physically taxing than my current one, but it should be GREAT preparation for my nursing career. And probably being on my feet all day will help me slim down.

So, again, whew.

Feedback at the new job

Things have been going alright at my new job. It is unnerving feeling like I am being watched so closely. And there were some tasks that I had difficulty with, to be honest. For one, I've never used an adding machine, or balanced a cash drawer. I'm talking an old-fashioned with the paper tape type adding machine. My grandpa had one. It's fine now, but I just didn't get it at first.

Then there's the phone. I've always been a little anxious around phones. And this one has a bunch of lines and impatient people (both callers and callees) and special bells and whistles, not to mention very, very specific language that has to be used per company policy (I switched in a "can" for a "may" a few times one day and heard about it later).

But overall, I'd say I'm ding alright. It's, as my counselor says, "a peon job", and it really shouldn't be a huge source of stress for someone my age with a master's degree. The last year has really shot my confidence to hell though, and the combination of low confidence and feeling so *watched* probably made me come across in not the *best* of lights.

Anyway, at the end of last week, Thursday actually, my immediate supervisor started giving me all sorts of praise. Said that I really seemed to be picking up on things, that I had done so well today, that I seemed to be much more confident on the telephone. Really, really laid it on thick. I was feeling good. Whew, I thought, I can relax a bit. And then she says, "because we were worried for a while there".

Back down to a zero again. Thanks, boss.

She apologized the next morning when I came in. Said that it was a rude thing to say, and that she wishes she could take it back. Really seemed genuine about it. But it's already out there, and it bothered me.

I'm trying to just let it go. It's not a career move type job, it's just a way to try to support myself while I retrain. I may even be switching to a different place that is more likely to give me health benefits in a couple of months. But I want people to like me and think well of me.

My counselor told me to focus on the praise that preceded the remark, and remind myself that she said "we WERE worried", not "we ARE worried". Past tense. Let it be in the past and move on.

So that's what I'm working on.

Too many balls in the air!

My head is kind of swimming at the moment. Too many things to juggle and arrange and prioritize for this Fall.

(1) My boss at the tutorial center asked me to teach the supplemental instruction group for physiology this fall. The hours I would need to work for that directly conflict with the hours at my new job. It felt too soon (only 2 weeks in) to start asking for special shift considerations at the new place, so I turned my tutoring boss down.

(2) At my new job at the retirement home, one of my coworkers is going to be out for maternity leave for the next 3 months, so they are raising my hours to full time while she's gone, as well as having me put through paperwork (fingerprinting and physical) for one of their other facilities so that I can substitute there. This means (a) I will be working or volunteering *every* day of the week, including weekends (b) It's still more information to take in

(3) Various educational opportunities abound:

(a) Phlebotomy: I'm signed up for a class that would require me driving 50 minutes two nights per week and finding time in my schedule to accomplish externship hours on week days, also 50 minutes away, and well-rested and ready to be professional.

(b) Basic cardiac arrhythmia: A course necessary to apply for jobs as a monitor tech in a local hospital, which pays more than either of my current jobs and would probably let me have more flexible hours around my nursing school time about a year from now. I am signed up for a version of this class at the community college 50 minutes from here on Tuesday mornings (would require cutting back on tutoring hours and cost some money for tuition, textbook), and there is a possibility I could take it at the local hospital instead (would require approval of the hospital, probably free, might give me a better in for getting a job later, on Wednesdays but don't know what time yet.

(c) I have to stay in at least one class if I want to keep my tutoring job...maybe even 6 units worth? Not sure. Eeeek.

(d) I am also signed up for medical assisting at the local community college but that was just an "in case I don't have work" option, because it would require 3 or 4 days per week basically all day during Fall. However, I'm reluctant to drop it yet because I still have anxiety about being out of work and not being able to get the class back.

(e) the pre-nursing advisor suggested I sign up for the first in the series of nursing program classes, which they will let someone take if they have completed all the pre-reqs. There is an online option for this class, and I think there are still spots available, but should I take it now? Should I wait and take it in person when I start the program because most everyone else will be? Should it be my 1 class that I am taking this Fall if I need it to remain a tutor?

(f) I will probably hear from the 2nd in-nursing-home CNA program I applied to in August or September, and I will have to make a decision if I feel okay leaving my new job (at a time that would be difficult for them), and if it is worth it to get full time benefits/less pay/work nights/perhaps more flexibility/etc....(my health insurance from my last job runs out in 4 months)

Blahh....it's hard to keep track of everything.

I think.... I think at this point, I probably should be feeling more stable at my new retirement home job, and I should go ahead and drop the medical assisting course. And maybe I should sign up for the online version of the "nursing 101" class (that's not its actual title, I just can't remember right now).

Phew. I feel a little better just having laid it all out there. But I'm still kind of stressed.

First Week of Receptionist Work at Retirement Village

This past week I was doing training at my new job. I think it went well. I felt like I was being watched ultra-closely (probably not my imagination) but I kept getting good feedback from the lead receptionist and the organization assistant director; they kept telling me I was doing a good job.

There was a lot to take in. So many details and forms and binders and cards and policies to keep track of. And finding something appropriate to wear each day was kind of a struggle but I think I'm getting in the swing of things better than I was.

They keep telling me "please don't leave", "I hope you stay", etc...they recently lost their last new hire after only a month because she had some family issue she had to go take care of. I have that other CNA training opportunity in the wings that they don't know about, and I don't know yet what I will do if the opportunity presents itself.

I think the part of the job that is most scary for me is dealing with the phone, and transferring calls around, and saying the right thing. It's a lot to remember, and I've never been super comfortable even with simple telephone calls. It makes me uncomfortable not being able to see the other person's face. But I think I'm getting better. I also know that the management doesn't really approve of my acquaintance/friend that is working in the same office, which is a little awkward. She knows it, but I don't think she realizes the extent of it (or at least my perception of the situation, from little things here and there).

Because the section I work in is "independent living", none of us are medically trained, and in an emergency situation the only thing I am allowed to do is the heimlich maneuver. My hands are tied...no CPR, or anything like that. Really basic first aid also might be okay. But for the most part I'm just supposed to call for help and try to comfort the person until it gets there. Another lady who works in the office is a retired nurse, and she said this bothers her too, not being able to jump in and do more.

Last week felt very full, I think partly because I had a different schedule than I'd counted on due to training. Next week is my last week of doing both jobs at once (tutoring and receptionist) for a while, until the fall semester begins. We will see. Plus I've started my volunteer work at the hospital, which is a 6 hour shift on Saturday. So I'm feeling busy, busy. I will write about the volunteer experience in my next post.

I got the job!

So, my new supervisor called me yesterday and told me they want to hire me. I don't know what my hourly rate will be yet, but I've got their weekly schedule of hours they want me to cover (it's about 24 I think) and next week I'm going to start working my tutoring appointments around fitting the new schedule.

It sounds like they called my current supervisor, and someone I put down from my last position (in graduate school) before that. I heard from both that they had gotten a call. And it turns out I didn't have anything to worry about.

Not the ideal, full time, with benefits job that I'd hoped for, but this should help a lot with the financial situation being able to have more hours, and more dependable hours.

Celebrating by going to an outdoor music concert tonight. Cheers!

Back to the drawing board

It has been almost one week since that last post.

A recap: last wednesday my supervisor at my new job told me I could not take the class I am registered for this Spring, which was previously agreed to be allowable during my interview and application process. HR got involved, and later that afternoon, it was going to be "okay" again.

Update: my supervisor terminated my position today. He did not directly reference my schedule requirements, but instead chose to attack my skills. My own assessment is that they have been constantly improving over the course of my scattered training by someone who I think would be aptly described as ADHD-Barbie. His assessment differed. I think though, that it was really about the scheduling issue. Last week, even after the HR person intervened and my scheduling issue was "okay" again, there were several grumblings and complaints made about the inconvenience.

So I'm unemployed again.

It is disappointing just to lose a new job, but especially in this case, the timing is horrible.

Last weekend, with the knowledge that things still felt a little unsettled at work but at least on the surface seemed to be resolved, I dropped the additional classes I was planning to take in Spring if I hadn't found work and sent my old boss a letter letting her know I had found a new job and wouldn't be back for Spring semester. I saved both of these tasks until the last possible minute to try to feel as comfortable as possible in the new job before I made the leap -- the courses needed to be dropped for a full refund over the weekend, and the old job would be starting back up in 2 weeks, so I wanted to give 2 weeks notice.

It is impossible at this point to get the classes back; phlebotomy was one of them, and it has a mile long wait list. A distance ed psychology class was the other, and it is full now. I am looking into taking a different distance ed psych course online through a different college, however even there I am 10th on the waitlist.

My old boss emailed me back today and said she was sorry to see me go, that she was planning on interviewing me for a promotion next week because I had been doing a great job with the students. I didn't want to go groveling back for my old job, but given this in, I informed her of the new situation and I am waiting to hear back. Hopefully that will work out. I am pretty sure even the promoted position would only be 25 or so hours per week, and lower pay, but it would at least be something. And perhaps I could pick up 1 day per week of volunteer work at a hospital to get my pre-nursing health care experience.

So I've had a rough day. I think things will work out in the end, but I'm tiring of the roller coaster.

New Job = Stress

I feel like I have been doing alright at work so far. I'm not picking up on things perhaps as quickly as they would like me to, which is frustrating for both of us. The problem I've been having with the training I'm going through has to do with both speed, and organization. There are 10+ instruments that I need to learn, all with their individual techniques, quirks, trouble-shooting approaches, rules about paperwork, etc. And the way I am being trained, they are not teaching me about one instrument, letting me practice it, and then moving on to the next; we fly around the building from one instrument to the next gathering little bits of information along the way as we go and hopefully cover all bases by the end. And there is added pressure due to my trainer leaving to go to school and wanting to be out of the schedule as soon as possible.

By the end of next week I have to have passed several "competencies" with supervision. I am getting more confident with more practice, but it is all pretty stressful, and whenever I do something slightly out of line with procedure, I get barked at. Add to that the newness of being on my feet all day, regimented breaks for going to the bathroom or grabbing a snack, and rapidly changing day vs. night shifts that throw me for a loop, and I'm really hanging on by a thread sometimes.

So that gives you some background as to where I am at right now... *then* ...

I come in today, and get word that there may be some problem with me getting "approved" to take my pre-nursing physiology course this Spring, which starts next week. I registered for this class over two months ago. There almost no hope of switching to a different time/section at this point (all sections are full). When I put in my application for the job, I put in a very clear note compounded with the pdf application stating the times and days that I could not work due to my class. I also brought this up several times, with multiple people, including my supervisor, during both interview sessions, and everybody including him said it would be fine.

But when I met with him today, he acted as if this was some big surprise that I needed that time off for my class, expressed what an inconvenience this was to both himself and the rest of the lab, told me that it would not be allowed, intimated that I had been doing a shoddy job so far in my training, and expressed that my job was on the line over this scheduling issue. WTF!

I held it together in the meeting with him, asserted over and over again that this was a necessary course for me, that it would set me back a whole year to not be able to take it this spring, and reminded him repeatedly (and respectfully) that he should have been aware of this issue before hiring me due to our multiple previous discussions.

Afterward, I went to the breakroom to take my 10 minutes and the person who has been training me was in there. I asked her if she was aware if my supervisor would ever hire three people at once with the intention of "testing" them and planning to fire one ultimately. She paused, said she didn't know, and asked me what our supervisor had said. At this point, I started crying and couldn't stop for a while.

Then, in walks the HR person, notices that I am crying, and asks if she can help. I explain to her, through my gasping crying, what has happened, she asks me clear logical questions confirming that I did in fact put in writing my need to have those times off for my class and that I had verbal agreement from my supervisor prior to being hired that it was okay. The person who is training me kept playing the politician and saying she could see both sides, but the HR woman said that our prior agreement should hold, and said that she would talk to my supervisor on my behalf and either he or she would get back to me.

I went on a 20 minute walk after that to try to pull myself together and stop being emotional. I ended up running into a friend who also works there, and we walked together and talked about what had happened, and she told me about her own issues at work. I was somewhat cheered up by the time I had returned.

I also reminded myself that I have not yet put in notice at my old job (which is on hiatus during the semester break), and that I have not yet unregistered from the "extra" classes that I was planning on taking if I couldn't find full time employment by the time the term started. One of those classes is phlebotomy, and it is quite difficult to get into, so I didn't want to drop it until I was very sure that the work situation was going to be stable and doable. So I have backup, but I need to know by the end of the week on both fronts (my old job, and the courses) if I am going to be working, or not.

I went back to work, jumped into running samples again, and when I was loading some vitamin D tests on a machine, I ran into my supervisor and he came up to me and asked if I knew what I was doing. I told him (confidently) that yes, I did. He said that he had talked with so-and-so and that they decided they would be able to work with my school schedule.

So for the time being, everything is okay.

One of the work-arounds for my schedule is that I am potentially going to have to work 6 days a week until the term is over, i.e. every Saturday. And I am willing to do that, though it will be hard to power through sometimes I'm sure, if it means everything will work out.

So that was my day. Things seemed to smooth out somewhat by the end of the day, but I am still anxious about this development, about my supervisor's threat that I need to shape up and prove myself, and everything in general. I needed to vent somewhere and get my experience down, so there you go. Hopefully the next post will be happier.