Should I know already?

I have 2 weeks to go until nursing school starts, and I have to say that lately I've been feeling self conscious when people ask me what *kind* of nurse I want to be, and I really don't have an answer.

My plan has just been to get a wide variety of experiences during the clinical rotations that are a part of my school program, and at graduation time, go with my gut, or alternatively, where the jobs are. I don't feel like I know enough yet to be able to say, "OH, well, I'm going to be a pediatric nurse, definitely."

I currently work with seniors, and I like them, and they me, but I don't know that that's where I want to specialize long term. I could see myself moving around a lot within the nursing field to keep learning and growing. Or working on a unit that sees a really wide variety of patients. Or, hey, maybe I'll find myself just completely enchanted with something I have no experience with yet.

I have a friend who is a surgical nurse, and she loves it. A friend of that friend, also a surgical nurse, told me that she liked it because the patients are mostly asleep! Oh, and it pays well. But you have to be very, very good at getting along with doctors.

I am pretty sure that I do not want to work in a prison, or the state mental hospital. I want to be able to feel safe with my patients, for the post part.

I was reminded of my indecision again when one of the school staff was talking about helping us write our personal statements. And I was thinking, gosh, I bet they want you to say what area of nursing you are most interested in there, too.

In a scholarship application I recently turned in, I'll admit I catered to what I thought the scholarship provider would want me to say. It was a conglomerate that owns several senior care centers in the community. I expressed in my essay answers that I enjoyed working with seniors, and hoped to continue that. That's true, in a sense, but I don't know that I want that to be my entire job.

So, for now, the jury's out. One of the things that appealed to me when I was first starting to look into nursing as a career was that once you were "in the club" with that RN, you had A LOT of options, and you could move around, too, you weren't stuck where you started. Am I just rationalizing my indecision?

Betrayed by the financial aid office!

I found out today at a pre-school year test-taking skills seminar that I could have put in an application for a whole bunch of school based scholarships that I was aware of, but had been told by the financial aid office I was ineligible for due to already having a degree. I feel so betrayed. I would be eligible up the wahoo based on financial need as well as past educational performance. DARN. Next year I'll know better.

The financial reality of returning to school

A couple of updates: I have my phlebotomy license now (but I'm not using it at the moment). My nursing school orientation is coming up in a couple of weeks. I finally, finally, finally have health insurance again...okay, so the card hasn't arrived in the mail yet, but I'm covered as of a week ago.

Nursing school is getting closer and I am getting more nervous about money. I have been working hard on shrinking my debt. I had about 6,000 in debt at its highest point in the last year. All on 0% apr credit cards, thank goodness, but it was still weighing on my mind. It's hard to get back on track when you only make $11 an hour, and medical bills come up, and taxes have to be paid, and the car needs new tires. I'm down to about 2,000 and if I keep being very careful that will all be paid off by August. But there really isn't any extra to set aside *for* school.

I think part of my worry is all of the unknowns. Will my low income fee waiver come through again (I need to do the FAFSA to find out)? Will I be able to keep working at least 4 days a week to keep my health insurance at least partly covered by work? My dad agreed to loan me some money (LOAN, with interest), but how exactly is that going to work, and will it be awkward and difficult? What will I do if/when unplanned for expenses come up during school? How much can I realistically work while I'm in the program without running myself into the ground? There needs to be time for laundry and paying bills and doing dishes and cooking, not to mention a small amount of just "down" time to keep my sanity.

Even though I've had these concerns weighing on my mind I haven't done a lot to remedy them since I got the hospital scholarship. I need to be applying for more scholarships, and go ahead and fill out that fafsa, even if I'm worried the answer might be no. I also need to stop freaking out about it, because that doesn't help anything. I will know more after my orientation meeting in a couple of weeks and then I can just continue to approach things rationally and one at a time. Deep breaths!

Good news, scholarship!

I got a $1000 scholarship from the hospital I've been volunteering at. I applied for it about a month ago; I had to write a few essays, get two letters of recommendation, and fill out some forms. And they only took applications from current student volunteers.

To receive the scholarship, I had to give a short speech at an awards luncheon attended by all of the other volunteers as well as many of the hospital administration, including the CEO.

This was roughly the speech I gave:

******
I have been considering transitioning to a career in the health professions for a while now. Nursing, specifically, has been a profession that I repeatedly revisited in my dreams about the future. About two years ago, I began pursuing this idea more seriously.
Although a stable source of income, and projected future demand in the job market were on my mind, my interest in nursing goes beyond these things. I really think that my background in biology, fascination with the workings of the human body, and natural ability to help people feel at ease telling me anything will go far in this field and I can make a positive difference.
Almost two years ago now, I moved back to my home town of XX, where I know that there is a very strong RN program at XX. I took the remaining prerequisites for nursing school and earned a 4.0 GPA while tutoring other students in English and Sciences to support myself, and volunteering my Saturdays here, to gain more experience in the healthcare setting. Last summer I submitted my application to the RN program, and just a few weeks ago found out that I got in, with the first cut.
To make a start in the medical field and to support myself up to and during nursing school, I recently began a position in the wellness center of an assisted living facility. I work as a med tech, pouring and passing medications, giving treatments, and responding to any emergencies. Between my experiences there and here at the hospital I can tell that nursing is going to be a good fit for me.
When I begin nursing school this August, I will have to reduce my work hours to accommodate my class schedule. There will be $2000 dollars worth of books to buy during my first semester, and as a second career student, I am not eligible for many sources of financial aid. I very much appreciate this organization’s contribution to my education. In a couple of short years, hopefully I will be an RN, working here at XX Hospital, and will see you all again.
*****

The CEO stopped me on my way back to my table and said it was a really nice speech. Yay!

Beginning the scholarship search process

As nursing programs go, the community college here is a very good deal. Only around 5k for the whole 2 year program (plus normal living expenses), versus more like 60k for those accelerated bachelor's programs that they offer in the bay area. But I still have to find a way to finance it.

I do still have some $ socked away in my retirement fund that I started in my early 20s, but I've already had to withdraw some from it this past year to get by and I'd rather leave it be.

I'm not eligible for federal financial aid or loans at the community college level because I have way, way, way too many units already. I looked at a private loan through my local credit union, and it appears their floor rate on an educational loan is 5%; not too bad, considering, but still I'd rather find another way. I don't think unless something big changes in my work situation, soon, that I'm going to be able to save enough cash up by the time I (hopefully) start nursing school in Fall 2012 to just front the money myself.

So in the mean time, I'm going to keep the private loan idea on the back burner, and look into a bunch of scholarships. There's also something called a board of governors fee waiver that may cover part of the cost for me since I'm low-income. I had to provide evidence to the school to change my state residency in order to be eligible for that at all (which I did today). Again, that's another thing I need to look into.

I got a photocopy of a list of websites to check on for scholarships and aid from the college financial aid office today. And I know there is another list specific just to nursing students on the nursing program's website. So I've got a good starting place. Here's hoping!!

P.S. I'm trying a new background theme for this blog. The tan with birds flying through it wasn't working for me anymore ;-)