to CNA or not to CNA that is the question

So...I have finished my phlebotomy training, but it will be a while before I get my certification all ironed out with the state, and it could even longer before I'm able to nail down a job in that field, if at all.

The local college did not need me to teach any classes this term. They go to the faculty first, the graduate students next and *then* the part time pool by seniority, and between the low course offerings during winter and being the newest of the newbies, no luck for me.

I've still got my retirement home receptionist job, but that is only 19 hours per week, and at $10.50 an hour and no benefits, you do the math. No es bueno. Not getting by. So...

At the end of last week I saw that a caregiving facility I applied to almost a year ago for their in house CNA training program was starting a new training round at the end of January. I managed to get an application in the day after the announcement went out, and I put a lot of energy into my resume, references and cover letter, so I'm hoping I have a good chance there.

Secondly, I also put in an application to be a "medication technician" at a care facility across town from, but owned by the same company that I currently work for. The CEO at my current job found out pretty much immediately, asked me about it, and I explained the situation. It turns out they won't hire a non-CNA for meds passing, not really, but several days later he told me that I should apply to be a caregiver at yet another facility owned by the company. I put that application in tonight. It would be full time, so I would get benefits after 90 days. However, they do not have an in-house CNA program; I would not graduate to certified nursing assistant over time or have the job portability and pay raise that comes with it.

My inclination is that doing the CNA program at the un-related-to-my-current-job place may be the best opportunity long-term. I would have to find out pay rates, etc to be more confident in that statement, but even if I just stayed there 6 months, got my license, and then moved over to the hospital where they make twice as much, it would be totally worth it.

However, if I tell my current employer that I need more hours, they say, alright, here's an opportunity, and then I don't take it, that's a little awkward. Or what if it becomes a timing issue...what if my current employer says, okay, sure, let's start training you in the new job, and then *days* later I get word that I got into the on the job CNA training program?

I should call the on-the-job-CNA place tomorrow and ask if they have had a chance to review my application, and make sure there isn't any contract that mandates 1 year of FT work following training (as some places do), or anything like that. How can I carefully bring that one up, huh?

On-the-job-paid-CNA-training-thingy:
$8.70 per hour (lame)
3 months-ish to get CNA license
benefits, probably after 90 days
my friend who used to work there said the new company cut down on overtime possibilities
the last time I applied, when I met the teacher, I had a positive impression of her
After establishing my CNA license I could move somewhere that pays way more

Caregiver position with my current company
Pay unknown (maybe more than the other since I already have a history with the company?)
Benefits, but after 90 days
they are not set up to train someone who has little experience in caregiving, to my knowledge
No idea what hours they'd want me to work


When it comes down to it, I really don't need the CNA training if I'm going to be an RN in a couple of years anyway, but it might help me stay better afloat financially while in school...maybe....

Doubts...

I've just finished watching the final Harry Potter (weepy) and looking through all of my friends on facebook (lonely) and I'm in a sort of _where is my life headed_ sort of place right now.

Did I make the right decision to move back home and start in an entirely different direction?

I look at old friends' profiles. One that I used to live with is living in Australia now, as a yoga instructor and writer. One that I used to work in a research lab with changed courses several years before I did and is now a nurse practitioner. Another that I went to high school and college with is now a physician's assistant and has a young son. Friends that are professors, and work at nonprofits, and manage or own companies, and have families of their own and children.

And I can't help but compare. I'm 31, still struggling to "find" myself, no partner or prospects, considering applying for a job that would pay lower wages than I've made since I was 19. What if all this that I've been going through is for nothing. What if I am not a good nurse or don't enjoy my work at the end of it all. What if.

I need to get myself out of this downward though spiral.

I've done a remarkable job of holding it all together, juggling obligations, and continuing to move forwards. During the time I have been home, even if I haven't made great strides forward in my career, at least I have managed to form a strong bond with my niece, who I love dearly and with my whole heart. Everyone goes through lost periods, even if not all at once, and at different rates of recovery. It feels like a long time coming, but I *am* moving forward. Soon I am going to hear back from the nursing program and I am most likely going to get in. Even if not right now, there are times when I *do* think that nursing will be an excellent fit. People trust me, and I am a caring and compassionate individual. And I am smart. I should be able to do this. I can do this. A year from now, everything will be completely different. I won't continue in this in-between state forever.

Nursing School Update

I've been checking my mailbox recently with a little extra spring in my step. I know the nursing school I applied to said that I'd hear by March "at the latest", and it is only December, but I don't know, I just hoped that I would hear something significant sooner.

About a week ago, after having sort of a crummy day at work, I got home, opened my mailbox and....there was an envelope inside with return address "Nursing Admissions" and the logo of the school I am applying to. I practically danced inside. I was so excited, and certain that the news would be wonderful, and was already planning when to share it with my family.

Inside, it read (roughly): Thank you for your application to blah-di-blah school of nursing. Your application is complete and your admission score was an 85. You will hear from us by March. Please do not call the nursing department for your admission results as we cannot give these out over the phone. Now is the time to start applying for financial aid and scholarships.... etc, etc.

So... not the big whooping news I was hoping for. But at least it's not a big denied stamp. I've already known what my admissions score was since I took the TEAS test, so that was no surprise.

There are all sorts of rumors that circulate around town about the nursing program I am applying to. During my phlebotomy externship, one girl told me that her friend who had an 85 admission score was 5th on the wait list to get in during her year (eep!). Another told me that she had a score "in the low 90s" which shot my confidence down a little further. Some say that you have to know someone in the administration in order to get in. I ran into my 5th grade teacher at Costco the other day, and when I told her I was trying to get into nursing, and about the admission process, she said "shouldn't teaching college biology count for something?!" I sure think so. She told me her sister in law is the assistant Dean (or something) of the program. I wonder if she'll put in a good word for me, and if it would matter if she did.

Someone told me recently that although the school I'm applying to doesn't put any time limit on how long ago you took your prerequisites, when you apply for your nursing license at graduation it matters. I took microbiology ten years ago. I hope that person was misinformed.

Another woman, someone I know well, told me that she was sure that nutrition class is required for getting your license. I looked at all of the state licensing web pages and school requirement pages I had the patience for, and didn't see anything about that. Not that it wouldn't be a good idea to take some nutrition.

So, I'm still waiting. And wishing. And Hoping.

Phlebotomy update

With my crazy schedule over the last couple of months I haven't written an update on my phlebotomy class recently.

So...it's done. I got the highest score in the class on the in-class written exam. I finished all the required clinical hours (40.5), and got about 105 successful draws (only 50 were required). I took the computer-administered, proctored, national exam a couple of weeks ago, and got a 91 on it, well above passing. I barely studied, because, again...way too much going on. Only one person in the class did better than me on it; she got a 92.

My friend and carpool buddy unfortunately didn't pass the national. She got a 68 (passing would have been 70). She had stayed out way too late the night before at a birthday celebration...like 2am late...and then the morning of the exam found out her father in the Phillipines was having some serious health issues. Plus, test taking is not her best skill; this was already her second time through the course. I'm sad for her.

Everyone else from my class section passed. I think most scored somewhere in the 80s, but there was at least one who only passed by a point or two.

We all went (except my carpool buddy, who was too distraught) out for late lunch and drinks afterward downtown. I had two good buddies in that class, my carpool partner and one other woman who lived in north county. I hope I can stay in touch with both. We were always a little separate from the rest of the class.

I have to wait, now, for my teacher to send me some forms, and then I can apply to the state for a phlebotomy license. I did really well in my externship, but I don't think that's a valid job opportunity for me, given my past history (see January '11 posts) with that lab. I didn't know really, that it was going to be set up such that there were 2 phlebotomy sections well connected with that lab, and one section connected to the local hospital. I was just grateful to get into the class, and have it work out with my crazy schedule this fall.

So it might not be as direct a job in as I had hoped for, but who knows, I may have a chance. Or, it may help me later on when I am a nurse.

...no consequences to work gutsiness.

(At least I tried)

I'm still at 19 hours per week at the retirement home and there wasn't any further discussion of full time or more hours or benefits. I haven't been reappointed at the university for Winter quarter (they use way less part-timers in Winter, and were able to cover all needs with graduate students). So here I am again, working half time, no benefits...closing out 2011 and the last few days of my COBRA insurance coverage.

But something better has got to be right around the corner.

Speaking of, I got about $620 worth of holiday bonus between the residents at the retirement home (the larger portion) and the company I work for (a measly portion). And, I should have another bonus coming to me just next week, for "recruiting" another employee and having them last 3 months. Doesn't change my current financial straits, but it will help at least.

Got a little gutsy at work.

I've been a bit irked about my job at the retirement home. It is a "receptionist" job, but when I describe what I do there to people, that isn't the title anyone would give it. There are some office duties, but there are also many, many more responsibilities, having to do with security, safety, responding to emergencies, apartment manager type duties, etc, etc, etc. A friend of mine who has been a receptionist her whole life recently joined our team there, and she is seriously struggling to keep up with it all and get with the routine.

They pay me 20% below the average *receptionist* wage for the county I live in. And they had me work 3 months of full time hours without ever switching my status over to full time, so I never got benefits. And, I am pretty sure that I heard my boss saying that she didn't see me making a fuss over it, because of my "sweet little voice". I didn't hear the whole conversation, and she could have been talking about someone else. But grrrrrr.

Last week, my more immediate supervisor asked me if I knew yet if I'd be teaching next quarter (no, I don't), and what kind of hours I wanted for December. I told her that unless they were going to raise me to full time status, that I didn't want to work any more than 20 or 25 hours per week anymore, that I was no longer willing to work 40 and not be given the same full time benefits that other employees get.

She went and had a discussion with our boss in the back after that. Later that day she also asked me if I would be willing to work christmas. It's on a weekend this year, and I am not currently scheduled to work weekends. I told her I would have to check with my family. It would be time and a half pay, but time and a half of almost nothing is still almost nothing, and family is just more important. Pooey on them. Someone has to do it though.

I think I won't hear anything more about the hours and full time status until we see if my friend stays or not. Even then they might stiff me. However...if she does stay a full 3 months, even if she quits the next day, they are supposed to give me significant monetary award for her recruitment.

I've been trying to pay down my debt in preparation for nursing school. Getting the second job teaching at a college has helped, but I still had to buy new tires for my car (tread was unsafe), pay for dental work without insurance, etc.

Things are going to move up soon, I think. Things seem to be getting better.

Sick day...

On Friday, I came into work feeling a little queasy; had thrown up several times that morning, but took a few tums. Was hoping I could come into work early, talk to my boss about my insurance situation (lack thereof) and have a mellow day.

My boss wasn't there... Friday is her day off right now, I guess I'd forgotten.

I started feeling worse and worse. My coworker left for her lunch break and I was at the desk alone. Tweny-five minutes into my shift, mid-interaction with a resident, I had to excuse myself quickly to go throw up in the bathroom. Repeatedly. And then, with the heaves of my stomach, the runs came out the backside too, without warning.

There I am, in the restroom, puking my guts out and trying to make my way to the toilet and finagle my soiled underpants off without soiling my office clothes as well, dripping various bodily fluids on the clean tile, still someone waiting to finish a transaction at the front desk....

People ask sometimes, "What has been your most humiliating moment so far?"

I want to say this is close to the top.

I had to send a runner up to the dining room to tell my coworker I needed help, have the bus driver cover the desk in the mean time, and attempt to clean myself up and wipe up the sh*t on the floor with paper towels.

I was clocked out about 10 minutes later, told my coworker to wipe *everything* down with disinfectant, and she called the housekeeping to sterilize the bathroom.

The rest of that day, I spent in bed, and well into today. I had a fever that made me so dizzy and week I felt like I couldn't even roll over in bed. Sometime in the night, my fever broke, and I started feeling a little better.

Today my throat is sore, I'm congested. I pooped my pants again, without warning. But no vomiting anymore. Ugh.

I was supposed to work the 7:30-4 shift today, which my coworker is now covering. I'm sure she's not happy about that, but I know the residents where I work don't need to catch this stuff. A friend of mine who used to work eldercare told me that under similar circumstances, her company made their caregivers come in anyway, and wear adult diapers. Yuck.

I feel like I really shouldn't go in tomorrow, either. I am going to wait and see how I feel in the morning.

Now that my fever has passed, I feel strong enough to get out of bed and get some low-key house chores done, so I've been doing laundry, washing dishes, watering plants. Cleaning the algae covered walls on my aquaria. Things I haven't had time for recently. I've only been up out of bed for 4 hours and I feel like it's probably time for a nap again. Whew.